WINNING MEDALS

By Zita Herrador

A personal point of view about how the regular perception of motherhood has changed in the last 70 years.

It seems like an eternity has passed since motherhood resembled that portrait of mothers who suffered, were abnegated and relegated to the background as a movie from the fifties; luckily, motherhood is not a synonym of absolute suffering and marginalization, and us women have advanced by leaps and bounds in other fields previously inconceivable for us, we have accessed rights, opportunities, spaces for the expression of ideas, activities, we are the great beneficiaries of many  social and economic programs... a wonder!! And of course, the road is still long and challenging, accentuating the nuances according to the region in which one lives.

But a phenomenon knocks at my door, being I directly involved, it does not go unnoticed:

I see how Western society, for the sake of the freedom and the sovereignty that each woman has over her own life, begins to fall into the perverse game of exalting and legislating in presumed benefit of those who decide and openly express their desire of not being a mother, but on the other hand, it criticizes, judges and often times hinders the path of those of us who decided to be and think that it is the state of life in which we find that fullness that no other public or private space can provide us.

Do you think I exaggerate? Simple, I'll give you two quick examples:

-If you decide to have three children or more, the phrase you hear the most is "How brave!" (And not precisely just exalting some personal virtue, but in a sarcastic tone) and there is always someone who tops it off with a “Oh, so was it really planned?" "I mean, but that’s what you wanted?" ... does that mean that there is a number of politically correct children one can have? Can’t a mature, profesional and with an ounce of intelligence woman opt for a "big" family without being branded as mentally unbalanced or assume there was a failure in the method of family planning? So not wanting children is the most "cool", or even regret having them makes your book international news, but wanting several children should mean some kind of failure of either perception of reality or calculation in the method ...?

But that is nothing compared to the anecdote of Paola Espinosa, whose sponsor congratulated her – her and only her – “for getting the greatest medal of all: being a mom" and was beaten up by a horde of women in its majority, who claimed that this affirmation minimized the rest of her professional and personal achievements. Immediately after that, came out the alluded ones who tried to steal the limelight from the unique moment that a woman who has given the maximum of her career and now began her stage as a mother, was living (and it’s just that the birth of the first child is a turning point in someone’s life!). I want to think that they did not know that it was the athlete herself, who had used those words before and they surely did not like that she came out in defense of her brand and reaffirming that YES, being a mom was her greatest achievement. Is it that we have become so absurd and partial, that it is perfectly understood that many athletes – and women in general - postpone or refuse to be mothers so as to continue achieving professional goals, but we are shocked that an established sportswoman exalts motherhood as the greatest medal?

Yes... that is how biased we have become.

(Translated from the original version in Spanish “Ganando Medallas” http://semujeres.blogspot.mx/2017/08/ganando-medallas.html?m=1 published on August 7^, 2017)

Note from the writer: Paola Espinosa is a Mexican athlete. She is a diver who represented Mexico at the Summer Olympics in  2004, 2008 (where she was her national team's flagbearer), and 2012. She has won two Olympic medals: bronze (2008) and silver (2012).